Horror movie

How You’d Die In A Horror Movie Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Aries will die like Curt (Chris Hemsworth) in cabin in the woods, reduced to a simplistic archetype of courage and skill. In the end, your altruistic will of heroism will be armed to organize your disappearance.

A shining representative of Aries excellence, Curt is considered a sociology student with a full scholarship to college. But it was his prowess on the football field that led to his unwitting selection for the role of “The Athlete” in “The Ritual”, a sacrifice/simulation by which an obscure organization prevents the destruction of humanity. at the hands of bloodthirsty prehistoric titans.

Curt is a leader and an optimist, generally seen as positive qualities in life, but in this context they lead him to the eponymous cabin where he and his friends will be systematically murdered. Still, he’s good at taking a beating once the mountain zombies arrive and the rusty farm implements start swinging!

By the time Curt finally meets his end in the horror meta-verse he unfortunately exists in, he has faced and defied death many times. Besides the influence of certain thought-altering pheromone gases, he is quite phenomenal in crisis, quick to pivot and plan his survival even amidst the shock of physical and emotional trauma. He loads his surviving friends into a van and almost manages to transport them to escape, thwarted only at the last moment by factors beyond his control, in particular a large chasm cutting off the path back to civilization. That’s when he comes up with the most direct and direct solution imaginable: he’s going to jump a fucking motorcycle over the gorge on the other side.

“You gotta give it your all,” his buddy advises as Curt revs the engine.

“You know that,” Curt replies, determined.

“Do not hold yourself back !” insists his friend.

“Never do it,” Curt says, posting some famous last words.

It starts the engine, picks up speed, roars over the edge and gracefully cruises the gap! Perfect form, holy shit, he will do it!!! But as the viewer’s heart soars, it collides with an invisible force field marking the boundary of the ritual area. Stunned – maybe killed instantly? — by the high-voltage collision, it falls. As his friends watch as he screams, Curt’s senseless body bounces and scrapes against the newly revealed containment web, triggering intermittent illumination from his long dive into the depths. Yeah, that’s exactly how Aries is going to be.

Taurus: Jason will bludgeon you to death in a sleeping bag


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